Month: April 2020


I know I said

I’d never move on

and believed it.

I could have held to that

I still believe it was

my right

if I wanted it.

Can you blame me

for wanting to be sure?

I called it an experiment

letting him in

but in reality I never would

have let him close

if he wasn’t special

if there wasn’t a chance

I could love him back

the way I think he loves me.

So here we are.

I’ve said the words

to someone else

and I mean them.

I miss you. But I gave

you ten million chances

and you didn’t hold on

to one.

I told him there was only

half a chance

I could ever love him back.

And he took it.

And he held on.

So, so gently

but he wasn’t going anywhere

not unless I wanted him to.

And I love him for all that he is

Just like I loved you for all that you are

and our universe just never came.

And I’m coming to realize–

that it was never

my fault.

When you love someone

you fight

you don’t

let go.

If you’re loved back

they will fight for you

an equal force, raging together

against the dark, urging one another

onward and higher.

The truth is you only fought


and then stopped altogether.

And I–

I deserve better

than that.


I said yes.

I said yes to something new

despite the fear

despite the love for you

beating in my chest

I said yes.

And here’s the weird part–

I’m not sorry

I did.

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