Ocean waves hissing on a black beach.
Wind whistling through a hole in a rock.
Boots crunching alone on a gravel plain.
A line drawn in stark white sand.
Brown eyes blank windows, a ghost looking out of a slow body.
Silence, silence, radio silence.
A buzzing, an annoying static grumbling in my brain, nothing more,
Numb feet, slowing down until I can’t force them to function any longer,
Falling, falling into soft comfortable dark and sleeping for a moment,
Waking to realize the nightmare never stopped,
While I ignored it for a while.
Rubbing fog from my eyes, heavy heart having to process a broken reality,
With a mind replaying how we acted in my dreams, good and bad and bittersweet.
Everything felt real, oh so real,
Even sleeping isn’t uncomplicated anymore.
My dreams feel more real than reality and my past reality like just a dream.
I’m grasping at slippery spiderweb strands hoping they will stick,
Bring a little bit of aching glimmer to a string of darkened days.
How do you describe an emotion
That can only be defined
As an absolute lack of everything.