You don’t have any idea
what you do to me.
When you’re standing there
just around the corner
it’s kind of hard to breathe
or other times
I’m shaky, and there’s elephants
dancing around in my chest.
Or you’re moving
not paying any attention to the ground
and I can finally just watch you
and try not to remember
all the things I want to remember.
If you do talk to me
for a second
I’m happy and sad all at once.
You kind of do that.
I can’t ever be truly angry
with you for long
and when I am it’s just
because I’m hurting.
Something always sparks
in my mind, a memory
a word or a gesture
something we shared
something that made me feel
whole, part of something special
and good
and warm
and that thing feels truer than my pain
and I’m not mad anymore.
Just sad.
Hope that can’t seem to
give up and die
reminds me of how
I just want you
just you…
just because
you’re you.