the last time I felt beautiful

was when you saw me.

alone, the months tick by, and with them

the accusations.

not

skinny enough

smooth enough

strong enough

light enough

not. enough.

too pale,

too tan?

it doesn’t matter

no one’s looking.

still the eyes in the mirror

judge

wondering,

what is enough?

sadness doesn’t look good on you,

they say.

can’t do anything about that.

but sometimes I dare

to close my eyes,

remember the words,

Just you.

and for a smidgen

of a moment

my heart

 

stops

 

wondering.