summer child

I am a summer child with long brown hair

lightening at the tips

I am a summer child with dark Arab skin

wisps of sun-bleached blond on strong arms

I am a summer child with bare feet and the laughter

of the river when it runs cold and high and wild

I am a summer child who hears peace in the music of the breeze

who only glimpses freedom in the conversation of the arching corridor of the trees

I am a summer child who’s had

winter in her heart for long, long months

two summers come and gone and still

her heart has not thawed

what happens to this summer child when

winter slithers closer again

heartbreak in every falling leaf

your shadow looming close once more

near enough to touch but not

to hold?

what happens to the summer child who

takes to her bed, sleeps away

the hours, refuses to see

her mother, shuts away the dinner

smells, listens to Julien Baker in her headphones until

dark falls and then again and three a.m. until

sleep cradles her, as long as it is willing

she will take it, and then silently waif through

a world that seems too bright

yet with no color?

The summer child feels the ice spreading.

The summer child always knew it would.

The summer child knows it would be easier to be

a winter child, someone who could

accept endings for what they seem to be and

look forward to spring’s new thaw

but she knows she wouldn’t be a summer child

if she could do this

knows she wouldn’t believe in

the impossible power of love

and someone please tell this summer child that there’s

hope for a hopeless summer child

and her hopeless icicle heart

after all.

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