the shame I put on myself

is often the hardest to shake

I am too much

too little

wrong where I should be right

one way when I should be another

abnormal

defective

weak

just not enough

in your absence

the affirmation of your arms

slipped away

and I don’t know how to love myself

accept myself

champion myself

nothing anyone ever does

will be enough

if I don’t see myself through the gaze

of a passionate God

then how will I see myself

as good enough for you

how will I ever laugh

cry

run

stay

choose

break

love you in your absence

look myself in the eyes

and say, I am worth it

I am enough

I am just right

just the way I was made

no need to feel ashamed

of a brokenhearted smile