the shame I put on myself
is often the hardest to shake
I am too much
too little
wrong where I should be right
one way when I should be another
abnormal
defective
weak
just not enough
in your absence
the affirmation of your arms
slipped away
and I don’t know how to love myself
accept myself
champion myself
nothing anyone ever does
will be enough
if I don’t see myself through the gaze
of a passionate God
then how will I see myself
as good enough for you
how will I ever laugh
cry
run
stay
choose
break
love you in your absence
look myself in the eyes
and say, I am worth it
I am enough
I am just right
just the way I was made
no need to feel ashamed
of a brokenhearted smile