today was the first day
I played frisbee
since two springs ago
it counted even though
I barely touched it with
one finger.
I’ve been afraid
to go back
I’ve been afraid
to move forward
memory and guilt
all tangled together
looking suspiciously like desire.
but today I learned
no silly dance
of feet on wet grass
could replace the warmth of our collision
the laughter of wrestling
for a spinning plastic disc
really just an excuse
to tackle you.
and no blue sky of today
no moment
could negate the forever
of those golden yesterdays
or the hope floating
in yet unformed tomorrows.
so when I get the chance to play
with a silly plastic disc
I will
and I won’t forget.