I’m not sure why I can only

accept my body when I

can see the muscles in my back

when my harness is as small as it

will go and the belt is on its

innermost hole

I shrink because I am sad

not because I am trying

I disappear in so many other ways

already, I don’t need another

it’s just another thing I notice

about myself that I wish could

be different

but then again, I never feel like

my hands have a purpose unless

they are loving someone

and I guess that is the problem

whether I am enough or found lacking

has entirely to do with which eyes

I am looking with today

and nothing at all to do

with the body I am wearing