I’ve gotten so used

to doing things alone

I’d rather continue

to do them alone

eat and wash and

work and make

walk and sleep and

cry and pray.

I’m tired of being with others

always wishing they were you

easier to be alone than keep

my armor up, make sure they can’t

come too close, arm’s length

double is better

easier to live alone without

others’ emotions messing with mine

touching the tender places

bumping up against walls

they don’t even know are there

that I won’t take down.

You say don’t wait

But I can’t in the ways

You want me to.

I want a brighter life

I will reach, I am

reaching for it

There are glimmers

I am relearning to savor

things that are sweet.

But there are limits–

I’d rather be alone than with

someone who isn’t you.