there are nights like this

when all my answers

don’t mean anything

and it all just hurts.

i know you don’t feel the same

i know it doesn’t matter anymore

i know.

but i miss you

and i’d do anything

anything

to have you back.

but that’s just me.

and one person out of two

isn’t enough.

i’ve been telling myself

that i’ll get used to being alone

that i’ll always miss you but

it’ll be fine.

but tonight–

tonight i’m just not okay with that

and it feels insane to think

i’ll ever be.

but it doesn’t matter how i feel

because you–

you’re already okay.

i’ve been carrying you around

like some kind of talisman

memories to keep me warm

and now–now i feel like

i don’t even

have that.

i bury them deep

deeper than they already were

and it’s supposed to make me feel better

but it just makes meĀ  feel cold.

how can i think about a lifetime alone

when i can’t even handle

tonight?