Why–the question of the day, the year, the hour. The second.
Why.
Why I like acorns.
Why He chose me.
Why the sky looks better upside down.
Why I can tell acorns are fuzzy but nobody else cares.
Why watching videos of people bungee jumping makes me shake but makes me want to do it all the more.
Why the mountains, the wild places feel like home.
Why adventure calls me.
Why falling feels like flying.
Why new grass smells and feels and tastes and looks like innocence and joy and the essence of life.
Why that color green makes me feel like me.
Why the savageness of drum beat and dance makes something in my heart awaken, catch fire.
Why protecting someone is my life’s heartbeat.
Why I’ve always longed to be a warrior.
Why I’m so certain that there’s good in the face of all this evil and it’s winning and all I have to do is fight for it, should fight for it, set the captives free. Break the shackles, hear them fall, can’t you hear them!
Why poking someone can mean I love you.
Why bare feet feel so much more right, more connect-y, more rooted to the essence of the earth, than wearing clunky, boring, blocking shoes.
Why singing loud and putting my whole body into it and shutting my eyes is something that makes me so alive yet something I have to hide.
Why climbing hands my joy back to me, makes me innocent, a child again.
Why laughs and hugs are the greatest things in the world.
Why I miss you so much.
Why I feel sad and alone so much.
Why I feel like there’ s something I’m missing, something more I should be doing, should be getting out of life.
Why life is all about love and holiness yet no one can see it.
Why our whole world is sick. Broken.
Why won’t it let Him heal it, redeem her.
Why there’s so much joy in every broken child.
Why climbing trees makes my heart beat so fast, that little bit of fear turning simple movement into a daring, rebellious adventure.
Why storms and the wind and the boom of thunder and the liquid, piercing flash of lightning and the moist darkness make me turn elemental. Make me meld with nature, something greater. Arbitrary, powerful. Make every nerve tingle, alive.
Why a dash of danger can make my life feel like a gift, every breath like a benediction.
Why laughter bubbles and overflows after a close call.
Why tears are healing.
Why I am who I am and you are who you are and why can’t we just understand each other and love each other and get along. Sympathize.
Why I didn’t realize til today that the Bible is a story God wrote personally for me. That He would have written it even if I was the only person in the world, or the only one that would listen. That He thinks I’m special, worthy somehow, although I don’t know why, and don’t quite believe it. But I know it’s true. Heart, wake up and see the truth?
Why he thinks I’m worth loving and dying for and sticking with me every time I break His heart, day after day after day. No, I DO believe it, because He came and told me so. Filled me up while I was kneeling there til I cried and shook, but I was so happy, so so happy. Because I knew it was all true. That His presence was there, in me, awe-some, overflowing me. That His message was all true. Still true. And I didn’t need to doubt and fear any more.
Why I still struggle to trust Him, although He’s shown me without a doubt that He’s beyond trustworthy.
Why with Him, every little aspect of my life makes sense.
Why everything is made new again.