I keep telling myself
love in the absence of someone is not
depression
love in the absence of someone is not
anxiety
people keep telling me I can’t
love you and be happy
but I keep insisting that they’re wrong
all the while hiding in my room telling myself
I’m not waiting for you to rescue me
I feel like it’s possible to love you
while one day, in the future
not now, heaven knows
to be happy
it has to be
but I honestly don’t know how
when the missing echoes
echoes inside even when
I’m trying not to pay it any attention
and as hard as I try not to
ask myself the unanswerable question
I do–
how in the world does this feel
to you?